What I Learned From A Life Coach
I was cruising Facebook in October of 2015. I came across a group of entrepreneurs, and as a business owner, I fancied the life of what these online entrepreneurs swore they had done and achieved. I read and observed and learned from their posts.
A man approached me via Facebook messenger saying he was a life coach and he could help me get the life I wanted.
”How?” I asked.
He told me to pay him, and he’ll show me the secrets Richard Branson and Grant Cardone use. For only $3,000 a month.
This was not an investment I had any interest in so I passed.
The men and the coaching offers came hard and fasted. They all wanted to help me in exchange for thousands of dollars. I understand the need to be paid what you’re worth, but these salesmen need to learn who their audience is and who to sell to. I had neither the money nor the trust in any of these individuals to change my life.
Change needed to come from within me, right? I had no motivation to change. I was in a comfort zone and had no plan on leaving it. I knew things had to change, but I’m the sort of person who requires a plan of action and major follow-up from someone who will cheer me on.
Nicolas was that person I was waiting for. He followed a mutual friend on Facebook, and he reached out to me, just like the others. The only difference was, this guy wasn’t charging me anything. He wanted to work for free so that he could get his name out there as a life coach.
If it were free I’d try it, why not? As I said, I wanted to change but was waiting for the right person.
We scheduled a skype call for January 6th of 2017. New year, new me.
We spoke for over an hour. About expectations, the process, goals, etc.
The best part was before the actual process even started. He set a timer for five minutes and told me to talk about all the so-called bad things that had happened in my life. He didn’t talk, only listened. Then, at the close of five minutes, he said, “I’m sorry you went through that. Now, never mention it again.” The past was officially in the past. I got everything off my chest, and I felt lighter. Free.
The program was to last eight weeks. Any more calls after that and I would be charged. I understood, and we pressed on.
First, he told me to buy two notebooks. This was the only investment I had to make and considering I’m an avid list builder and have a stash of notebooks waiting to be utilized; this seemed perfect.
On the cover of one notebook I wrote “POSITIVITY NOTEBOOK.” On the other, I wrote “PLANNER.”
The positivity notebook was meant to be exclusively for writing down positive things each morning. You know, thank god for waking up and having loving family and friends and health, etc.
The planner was a little more complicated. Every single day I had to write the following:
Three goals I have in life in general (Travel the world)
Three short-term goals with dates in which I want to accomplish them (losing ten pounds in the next eight weeks)
Three long-term goals with dates in which I want to accomplish them (learn French by next Christmas)
One positive quote (We can’t just leave positivity to one notebook. It had to follow me everywhere.)
Three successes I will accomplish that day as if I had already accomplished them. Such as, I have reconnected with an old friend today over coffee.
These had to be written in my notebook every single day, without fail.
The next step was to create a vision board. A vision board is important. It’s a constant reminder of something that you want. And as we know, visuals stay in your brain way longer than the written word. He told me to cut up some magazines and tape them to a poster and display it somewhere prominent I would see it every day. But I move too much. I’m not going to create this monster vision board just to have to leave it when I travel next month. Nicolas suggested using PINTEREST. Pinning all the things I want to a secret board just for me. It was a vision board in my pocket.
I added all sorts of pins. A beautiful chateau in the South of France, a Maltese puppy, the words “CALM.”
Next, a book list. Nicolas emailed me a list of books I needed to read to get a good grasp on my mental health and physical health. I would read for half an hour each day to grow my mind.
Other points he touched on were to eliminate all News and anything negative. Trump had just been elected, and my newsfeed in Facebook was full of negativity. I care what happens in the world, but right now, for me, the best thing is to focus on what I need to do. Reading posts from angry people on Facebook will help no one. I decided to delete it all. The only things I saw on my feed were my friend's kids and travel plans and kittens sipping milk.
Instead of watching people whine, I decided to add volunteering to my weekly schedule.
Speaking of weekly schedules, we decided that every Saturday Night I would put aside some time to plan out my week ahead, in 25-minute increments. That’s right. 25 minutes. Work for 25, break for 5.
And, I wrote down everything from showering time to a walk around the neighborhood for air every evening to answering emails. It was all there and accounted for.
Next, categorize the people in your life. Find the ones to cheer you on in your health goals, the ones for networking, friends for your spiritual wellbeing, and the ones you need for laughing and relaxing. You are the accumulation of the people you spend time with so choose wisely.
Can you believe all this conversation was in one conversation?! I know it’s a lot to handle, but at the time, I was open for anything. I was up for the challenge.
In the first month, we spoke every Monday and Thursday for an hour. We talked about how I felt about the process, what I was accomplishing, and what he wanted me to take on next.
I looked forward to our calls. I stuck to the plan. I woke up, exercised, ate breakfast, read, wrote in my positivity book, etc. Every single day. And he was there for me cheering me on every step of the way.
I am so grateful for his time.
I even decided to add to my notebook. He had told me to read Simon Sinek’s book on the WHY factor. I had been living my life in a strange way. I had worked jobs, I had created jobs, I had done a lot of things and had many experiences, but I didn’t ever know what for. After reading Simon’s book, I found my why. The reason behind everything I do. I won’t state my Why here but let me just tell you; it’s important to explore and find out what that is. So, how did I add to this? I sat down with a notebook one day at the beach in the Sinai Desert, and I wrote a list of all the things that I have strong opinions about. By writing this list, I understood myself even a little bit better. In fact, it’s from this list that I came to realize what I must do. I created The Pemberley because I feel strongly about the message I try so hard to convey.
Without a freebie from Nicolas on a random evening last January The Pemberley would not be here, and for that, I am grateful.
If you are lost or unhappy, I highly suggest finding someone to hold your hand and guide you for a little while until you “get it.”